Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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