I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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