I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
