are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
