the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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