:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
