At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
