Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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