Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
