look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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