Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
