We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
