Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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