Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
