He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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