who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
