you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
