I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
