Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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