You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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