As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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