ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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