I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
