have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
