Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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