Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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