you would pick up someone in the library
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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