READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
