I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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