fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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