Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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