All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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