I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
