Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
