After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
