Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
