So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you had me at cake vodka
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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