singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
