I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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