whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
