The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Randomize
