Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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