The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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