would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
