I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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