she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
