Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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