last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
