I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
