I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
