he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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