Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
