i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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