Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
