Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
