do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How naked do you want me to be?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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