You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
