You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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