Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
