he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
