It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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